I wish I could write down everything I said or did before I said or did anything. I wish I could erase or delete the wrong words and the careless actions, before I went ahead and said or did them. I think everything would be much better then.
I wish I could control how uncontrolled I am sometimes. How my mouth sometimes keeps going and going, although I want it to stop.
I wish that I had treated you better. I wish I hadn't pushed the limits and ruined both our weekends. I wish I had let you be, but instead I followed you when you clearly needed space.
I think it is because I'm finally completely attached to you. Being with you is probably the nicest part of my days. And I would do anything to be more with you.
So when I realized you didn't want to be here anymore, I panicked. I panicked because I realized I had crossed the limits, I realized that you were avoiding my eyes. I realized your voice was lower and your hand didn't want to be with mine. I realized you weren't saying much, I realized I had treated you like shit.
I'm hurting because I know I hurt you.
