30.7.12

amanda

just started work
and ive got a lot of school to get done.

ahhhhhh no time

come back in a couple of weeks if you want to see something new on here

love love xx

27.7.12

until the poets run out of rhyme

i am absolutely useless
focus sofia, focus
get yourself togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

26.7.12

warmth

It was very warm outside that day. Her skin felt sticky with sweat and her mouth was dry. There were people everywhere, children and adults buying ice-cream, enjoying the sun and even looking for spots to sit in the shade. It must have been at least 26 degrees, but there was no wind at all, which made it all seem even hotter.

She wanted to buy a drink but only had a couple of coins in her little leather purse. Her throat hurt from the lack of water and she felt a little dizzy. "If only I were by the beach or a nice swimming pool", Anna thought to herself.

It was probably a bit dangerous to go on without drinking anything, she had stupidly decided to wear jeans that morning and the dizzy feeling got worse by the second. With no money to buy anything she decided to find a bathroom and drink some water from the tap. She finally found one in a fast-food restaurant, after having walked around in the heat for a good twenty minutes.

When she got to there, as usual, there was a long queue outside the women's bathroom. First in line was a little girl and her mother. The little girl looked extremely tired and her nose had turned red from the sun. The mother was fat and sweaty, but held onto the little girls hand and lovingly looked at her daughter's tired face and kissed her little red nose.

There was a group of 3 older girls, probably around fourteen or so, dressed in very short shorts and revealing summer tops. They laughed and talked publicly about their lives but Anna ignored them and concentrated on not passing out as the dizziness got even worse. There were some other women there as well, but Anna ignored their presence too.

Then she met her.

24.7.12

23.7.12

yours until the rivers all run dry



Free icecream is always nice.
And so is his company.
And so is this weird app that really amuses me.
And so is mom's food.
And so is "Baby I'm Yours" by arctic monkeys.
And so is alex turners voice.
And so is this messy bed.
And so is this new haircut.

Now I'm off to finish watching bright star.

/s 


22.7.12

until the stars fall from the sky

i dont think i have anything to write about.

probably cause im relatively happy.
and i usually keep my happy thoughts to myself.

sorry if i randomly shut my blog down for a couple of days, i dont really know why i did it. i suppose i felt like i really didn't have much to show or to write about on here. but then it feels as if im compleatly leaving this place, where i've sort of been for 2 years. i guess i'll just leave it here and use it whenever i have something worth reading to write.

i biked around 14 or so kilometers today,
i ate scones,
went to my brothers place,
drank ice tea
and
now im home

xx

19.7.12

shelter

you might not be seeing me here for a while,
typed blogger.com onto the browser just a bit ago,
and felt like i really couldn't be fucked with this anymore.

off to alex's to make some food.

/s

18.7.12

cant we just laugh and joke around?

Woke up quite early and found some amazing cereal mom just bought. I dont even know, like its probably the best thing out there. Made my morning and stuff.

My brother alex is still asleep so im sitting on my couch still in my pjs.

Things I need to do today:
Try and do some of my homework.
Shower.
Meet wonderful Anne.
Drink some proper coffee.
Brush my hair.
Call dad.
Stop wasting my time.



























Try to have a decent wednesday x

16.7.12

agia marina



Things I like nowadays:

Spending time with alex.
Listening to bon iver.
Taking pictures of rainbows.
Biting my nails.
Washing my face.
Collecting books with pictures of nice things in them.
Buying white clothes.
Listening to alex talk about politics and history.
Staring at his green eyes.
Color-coding my clothes on my clothes rack.
Chocolate milk.
Not craving cigarettes.
Holding my dad's other kid.
Thinking of my dad's lovely radio-like voice.
Thinking of my mom's caring face and laugh.
The way you smell with your perfect perfume.
Thinking how now that smell is mine.
White wine.

Things I dislike nowadays:

Mom's attitude towards me.
Feeling sad because I'm listening to bon iver.
Only being able to write when I'm a little sad.
This list.
Other people's blogs.
15 year olds with pictures of them smoking on instagram.
My mom's looks at me last night.
Crying.
Not being able to sleep.
Too little sleep.
School work which I haven't started.
How I still think about him at times.
Jeanjackets with jeans.
Eating unhealthy food and then feeling bad about it.
This stupid cold.
Red wine.
His "i-always-need-to-be-nice" attitude that makes him seem so fake.
The way mom didn't look at me in the eyes today.
People who are rude online.
Being a little bitch and not doing anything about it.
Being obnoxious.
Not reading enough books.

good night xx





15.7.12

pretty visitors

ah
why do i feel so sick

horrible headache
nauseous
my eyes hurt
 :(

all i want

I don't think I'll ever stop being slightly obsessed about my weight/body/fatness

I hate my legs,
my belly,
my arms,
my back. 

Stupid food,
Stupid media that makes you think way too skinny is the way to be.

And I don't even do anything about it. 
Ahhhh what a brainwashed mind I have.

no sofia
be happy about your body

cold

my head feels like its going to implode
my temples hurt
and my throat is in pain

i came home from arild last night
ate icecream with my brother and his friend
then watched billie the vision and the dancers

cold and tired i headed home on my own
then realized i had no keys
because im pretty much useless

im cold right now too
my head still hurts
and as usual bon iver makes me sad

spotify adverts sucks
and my head still hurts

now im going to listen to arctic monkeys
and that shitty album they made last year
cause i haven't heard it yet


10.7.12

productivity is overrated




I miss greece and taking pictures of my feet touching the sea. I remember the sea was extreamly alive that day. There were red flags everywhere, telling people to not go into the water. I personally thought it was absolutely fantastic. And the sound it made, ahhhhhhhhhh how I miss it.

Spent at least an hour sitting in my kitchen eating some bread and drinking awful coffee. Have I told you I can't make coffee? Never turns out tasty for some weird reason. Its either too strong or it doesn't quite taste of anything.

I don't know what to write as usual but I'm writing anyways because I have a lot to do and I promised myself  I would start after I finish this and take a shower.

Stupid school work, ruining my holiday.

I hope you all have a wonderful day x

edit:
ended up procrastinating and changing the layout entirely. hope it isn't too terrible.

9.7.12

part 2

eyes
shoulders
eyes
voice
shoulders
back
chest
shoulders
perfume
hands
torso
shoulders
torso
hands
arms
eyes
voice
chest
name

mine

8.7.12

skinny love once more

stupid bon iver
went on some girl's blog where she had him playing in the background


i used to listen to him back when things went wrong


now im sad and i miss him


ahhhhh why does it still hurt at times
those awfully long nights that didn't end
the constant headaches from the constant crying
"...but mom all i want is to be with him"


ahhh the maybes
expecting him to come back
to realize he was wrong
to say sorry




maybe im just pretending
think positive sofia think positive

things are better


7.7.12

sunny days in chania







Today felt very long. I woke up at around 6.30 at helena's place, and headed off to the loppis in lund. It was awful but I managed to spend some money on a couple of pretty things.

I ate breakfast when I got home and got back into bed. Woke up at 4 or so, played video games and ate lunch with mom.

I had to say goodbye to a dear friend, which wasn't too difficult, knowing that I will definitely see him again some time soon.

I went to dads, chilled with viktor for a bit and then went to my brothers to pick up the camera.

Met a lovely friend by the bus stop and started talking.

We stayed behind after we got to dalby and talked for a good 45 minutes and now I'm finally home.

I guess I don't usually write about what my days are like on here, it seems kind of boring to be honest. I might write about my feelings on something that happened that day, or about something that has been floating around in my crazy head. But tonight doesn't feel like a "feeling-writing" night, so maybe tomorrow.

The pictures are from greece (finally have the camera back)

/s

6.7.12

we said we would die together

Dad took me to see Laleh and Timbuktu last night and it was lovely. And i love dad. like usual.

I'm feeling rather happy at the moment.
My room is clean and i have the hultsfred pictures spread out on my bed.

I came home last night and my pillow lightly smelt of you.
I thought about how the last time my pillow smelled of someone, I cried for hours and how I cried even harder when the smell was gone.
This time I smiled.

I'm starting to get used to spending all this time with you, although its a little overwhelming at times, I do quite enjoy it.






I'll scan the pictures soon.

Have a lovely start to your weekend!
/happy little sofia


3.7.12

here is to a good summer andddddd its gone

Winter food
Funny how I used to write about you some months back. It was still cold then.
Winter clothes and longer hair
Picasso my love
It was all about you, just a summer ago.
Parrots and a hultsfred hand
Scribbles about unreal people
I feel awful right now.
I look awful too. Everything's a mess and I've and an awful day. Awful awful awful.

I hate the summer because it feels unproductive. I won't get anything done and I have no control over anything.
Useless.

Is there even a point on trying? I'm messy, I've lost things and I can't get my shit together.
I don't even know what to say, I just have this awful feeling inside of me. I'm desperate for all of this to be over and to be back in school already. I just hope I get things done by then.

God im crazy and i hate everything at times like this.
i hate to say this but last summer was so perfect. why cant it be like it was then why why why?


whatever im going to listen to the xx and pretend to be happy
+clean my room


2.7.12

peppers

Its 11.41, second of june JULY, two thousand and twelve. Cloudy weather and a little windy. The air is probably warm outside and the grass wet from last night's rain.

I can hear him talking to his mother, slightly worried but relived that she's actually fine.
Mom sits and waits for him to tell her his mother is okay.

They talk now.

My hair's messy but i really cannot be fucked to do anything about it.
I should be on the bus to town soon, start off my summer-schoolwork at the university library and go to gym afterwards. Hopefully also pick up the memory card with all the lovely photographs from lovely lovely crete.
And the still unpacked suitcase with all my clothes.

kiss kiss bang bang