4. The toast

"I would like to make a toast!"  Elin shouted, standing up a little too quickly and making a couple of empty plastic cups fall on the table. "Wooooops, sorry about that!" she said, slowly hitting her wine glass with the end of a spoon still covered in cheesecake, calling for attention from the rest of the table. "Clink, clink, clink", it echoed over the loud voices of the drunken friends. Someone lowered the music and in a few seconds the 22 guests sat silent waiting for Elin's speech.

"I am so happy to be able to be here with all of you! So many lovely faces, all together celebrating the beginning of this yet-to-be amazing summer" she said loudly. "I can't believe we have all graduated and now have the rest of our lives ahead, on this rocky road to success! It feels spectacular, don't you think?" she seemed so happy but also rather drunk. "I would just like to thank all of you for being here, even if I don't know or have met all of you before; I would also like to thank Erik specially much for letting us all be here and preparing some delicious food and finally, I want to wish you all a fantastic summer! Glad midsommar, skååååål!" 

 The 22 guests toasted and clapped after Elin's short speech. Someone asked to put the music back on and everyone got back into their small conversations with the people they sat next to. 



i seriously cant paint nails for shit
it is depressing

i mean, the fact that i bite them and
that they dont grow "straight", if you know what i mean...
it just makes it all worse

like they arent quite flat,
they're more like rough and edgy
ohhh does that even make sense....

nevertheless, i painted them and
it was a catastrophe on my right hand...
and it looks more or less decent on the left hand

i mean i guess its good i didnt use a bright color
so it doesnt show how bad it is

seriously dont look at my nails



oh thank goodness youre not in hospital because you tried to kill yourself
oh thank goodness that your parents didnt send you away to a crazy people's home
oh thank god your house didnt light up on fire and you're now living on the streets
oh thank god you didnt run away
oh thank goodness you werent locked up in the basement by ella going crazy-human-dog.
oh thank goodness youre okay



green energy

the days seem so monotone that i don't know what to write about.
this of course does not mean that i do not like these days, that begin with me trying to get out of bed by 8 o'clock to fix my sleeping schedule before exams, even if i start at 11 that day.
then i eat a healthy breakfast, because i cant just keep eating that LIDL granola that has 400 calories per serving even if it's really tasty. i mean, you want to fit into a nice prom dress without looking like a whale pregnant with tripplets, right sofia? drop the tasty LIDL granola. anyways..
then there's school and the boring lessons with teachers that no longer care if you learn the last bits of information before exams, or are really stressed out because every single student in the class seems to be a complete retard.
then there's the nice moments in school where we talk about prom, and our planned trip to spain, and our dresses, and the truck and just about how amazing it will all be so unbelievably soon.
school finishes and i come home, put my hair in a bun, put my yoga pants on and eat a snack while watching some crappy 4o'clock swedish tv show.
i usually go and sleep for an hour and then get up to eat dinner, then i study till its bed time (or not and go to bed thinking "wtf sofia its 20 days till exams, get your shit togetheeeeeeeeeeeer").

its quite nice isn't it?




what i do when i stop understanding the math problem


death in a tube

so im thinking i should probably write something on here,
before i lose all the little readers that i have.

so im thinking that i should not have put handcream on my dry dry hands,
now they sting and im having some sort of reaction to the handcream.

so im thinking i really miss him,
mom is a real bitch because she didnt let me sneak out and sleep at his place instead.

so im thinking whether i will actually manage to stay off facebook this time,
i've deactivated it like 5 times before and i dont last more than one week.

so im thinking my hands are still stinging,
now i have red dots on them.

so im thinking exams are in 30 days and shit is going down,
and then we'll be in spain and i'll get a tan and life will just be so much better.

so im thinking i really really miss him,
and yes, mom you're mean, i could be petting old ella right now in his big cold house.

so im thinking i should make some tea, move my desk to where i can actually sit
and start studying again.

so im thinking, where the hell did we buy that handcream?
it was death in a tube.

puss hej