As the years go by

And so the years begin to go by so unbelievably fast. And we sit there talking about how maybe it was just because that last year of school was rough. I, on the other hand, think we're lying to ourselves. The years are going by faster and faster and time is not on our side.
And so we learn from our mistakes, we begin to control our bodies and minds, all together,  as a whole, even when we drink and when we smoke, we've matured really.
And its sad really because my favorite age is over and I'll never get it back.
And all the coming years? For that we're not ready. But time is already ahead of us.
And we won't catch up.



It's been a while since I posted my face on you.
Here it is, Sofia, aged 18, with a cold, a blocked nose, a sore throat, off to read 1984, hanging with my Strepsil babes, cause mom said they were          "antibacterial".

TALK ABOUT FUN FRIDAY NIGHT (although 1984 is really something).

/sick s



So pretty much all I been doing since saturday night is play with my little half brother, watch suits, eat dads [awful](sorry) food and read a few pages here and there of 1984. Oh, all while the continuous thought of "sofia write your personal statement" moves in the shadows of my brain, showing its repulsive face here and there, making me feel pretty bad about consciously delaying it.


ps. i still love christmas


From Vegetarianism: Wiki

"To produce milk from dairy cattle, calves are separated from their mothers soon after birth and slaughtered or fed milk replacer in order to retain the cows milk for human consumption.[126] Vegans state that this breaks the natural mother and calf bond.[126] Unwanted male calves are either slaughtered at birth or sent for veal production.[126] To prolong lactation, dairy cows are almost permanently kept pregnant throughartificial insemination.[126] After about five years, once the cows milk production has dropped, they are considered "spent" and sent to slaughter for hamburger meat and their hides. A dairy cow's natural life expectancy is about twenty years.[125]
In battery cage and free-range egg production, unwanted male chicks are culled or discarded at birth during the process of securing a further generation of egg-laying hens.[127]

So this makes me want to become a vegan. Even if I'm a vegetarian because of environmental reasons and not because of the meat industry............. ohhh but giving up banana yogurt and cheese sounds too difficult.

Ah I should not be reading wikipedia articles this late. 


things n. unknown

1. I miss my mother

2. I feel just fine

3. Suits

4. New year plans

5. Why does everyone want to do that?

6. Hand mirror

7. Accept yourself as you are

8. Where have you been hiding?

9. I might be a little jealous,

10. No I am not.

11. We did quite like eachother at first

12. Seemed friends and all

13. Time is so relative, time does not exist

14. Time is man made

15. Drivers license

16. That which we call a rose, by an other name would smell as sweet



I am objectified.
I am seen as less important.
My opinions are repressed.
I receive a lower salary.
I am raped.
I am portrayed as dumb.
I must take care of the kids.
I can't show my face.
I can't marry who I want.
I cannot go out alone.
I feel unsafe.
I am given uncomfortably sexual comments.
I am killed.
I am sold.
I am forced into prostitution.
My body sells.
I am supposed to cook.
I should clean for you.
I am not supposed to have a job.
I am a house wife.
I never feel completely free.
I supposedly can't drive.
I am meant to be quiet.
I am married away young.
My hair cannot show.
It is my fault because my clothes were provoking.
I am beaten.
I "wanted" it.
I am a woman. 



sometimes i just feel shitty about myself
like i am not useful in any shape or form
and then sometimes
i truly truly dislike the way i am with people


glass bambu

i mean what in the world am i thinking.
i really do laugh as i write this.
not writing that bloody personal statment is not gonna get me anywhere nearer to going to university next year.

hahahaha im so ridiculously useless sometimes

det blir:
Surrey (Guildford)
(please be excited)
(ok good)



whats up with the parkas, boys?

This morning, on the green six, four young guys got on the bus.
Three of them were wearing parkas of the same greenish color. 
I was a little confused.

First of all, because parkas are not warm and it was freezing. (Or well, I was)

Second of all, they looked a little odd; all dressed the same. I mean the other one must have felt a little out of place, wearing an unimportant black jacket.

Otherwise, the day has been rather uneventful.
I woke up by the sound of bells that was F's alarm and got up to brush my teeth.
It was rainy and I felt like I had not slept much.
I brushed my teeth and got dressed.
"I have to go now" I told her and woke her up.

She wrapped some knackebröd in a napkin because I'd get hungry after the dentist.
I love it when people show affection in the smallest of things.

I went to the dentist.
My face felt funny till about 4 pm.

And then I ran.

And then I ate pizza.

And now I'm here.


I really should've fallen asleep hours ago.
But watching videos that I could be part of in a near future is so exhilarating



I was going to start writing by saying how it is disappointing that I cannot fall asleep sometimes. I mean, I really do love waking up early, having the whole day ahead of me, feeling like it has indeed been a long day when the day ends; all of this made difficult if only a few hours of sleep are actually had.

But then I thought, no.

Being a little tired and feeling a little shit tomorrow is not the hardest thing I'll ever do. 
I also think that instead of laying in bed, thinking nonsense and whatnot I shall get up and "force" myself to write. Which hasn't actually been so terrible. Quite nice actually.

I went out for a run today.
It was very much enjoyable; even if the body hurts, the mind is having such a blast. Ahhh, the endorphin afterwards is almost like being joyfully drunk and in love and at an amazing concert and just everything else nice at the same time.

I don't know if any of this made sense. 

Become aware

Why must you complain to me?
Don't you see I have finally decided to stop biting my nails and your
complaints make me put my hands in my mouth and then I have to tell myself, no sofia, no, you're done with this?
I have bitten my nails for as long as I can remember and it's about bloody time I stopped. So please don't make my job any harder

Also, yes, I think "wow yeah shes weird and unreasonable".
But so are you at times.

On a more positive note we have the fact that tomorrow is / today is December first. The beginning of the last month of this long but also strangely short year. "Do the years go by faster as you grow older?" "Yes. But there's nothing you can do about it"


PS2. Still a lovely saturday night.