28.1.14

CAPS IS LIKE SCREAMING

I LEGIT HAVE NO MONEY.
BUT THEN AGAIN THERE ARE BIGGER ISSUES IN THIS WORLD.

I THINK I CHECK MY EMAIL ABOUT 10 TIMES A DAY
AND WHEN I SEE UCAS HAS EMAILED I HOLD MY BREATH TILL I LOG ONTO TRACK AND
HOPEFULLY SEE A NEW OFFER.

SOMETIMES I DISLIKE MY PARENTS.
BUT THEN I REALIZE HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE THEM AND HOW MUCH I TRULY LOVE THEM.

I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU.
SOMETIMES I GET THE FEELING YOU DON'T TRULY LIKE ME. WE'RE RIVALS NOW AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY.


/s





26.1.14

The day's words



I liked this selfies because I look somehow tan.
Which is something I am not.
It's like -5 outside guys.


Today I woke up at almost 12 o'clock.
And I don't think I did much other than eat breakfast and stare
mindlessly at this computer screen.

Mom came home and asked if I wanted to go see hockey.
And I mean hockey is pretty damn sexy so I went.

I cooked dinner.
Here I am.


Tomorrow I'm changing my life.
Maybe, probably not.
Mondays make me feel that way.
It's a strange feeling really.


Oh I'm also broke and my phone doesn't quite work.
And dad probably won't get me a new one.
I think dad's aren't just supposed to buy phones,
as helpful as that may be.


Jazz is nice, I need to ask someone to send me songs.
And I need to read like two plays tomorrow.





/s

24.1.14

Happy thoughts


First university offer received and so last night I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
And pricey beer in sketchy bars in Malmö with a new friend.
And a new story which I'll be happy to share sometime soon.

See the best stories are the ones you come up with sitting on the bus with very little battery on the laptop with nothing else to do because your phone is legit a little stupid and you forgot that novel you were reading at home. And so you type and type and type and the ideas just kind of flow, and you suddenly see characters in front of you. And then you run out of battery, happy that you got to write some of it down.


Yes, mmm. That was some of today.
Oh, and my brother and his pretty girlfriend moved to the other side of the world.

Exciting day? Not really no, but it was nice.

21.1.14

Simple thoughts of the day

I wore red today.

He played classical music in the morning like dad used to.

He looks awful when he's tired.

I sometimes feel a tingle inside my chest when I think of you.

I wonder whether she truly likes me.

It's cold in Malmö.

He is so handsome.

Fuck, I always laugh at the wrong times.

My back hurts.


/s

11.1.14

The mayan lips

What is life if only a revolt
Of choices, of thoughts
Of people and emotions in reverse

Of books and remixes
And careless choices

Of loud voices and felt stares
Of misunderstandings
And those wanted mates

Life is only one big mess
One mustnt really think any less

7.1.14

Winter hands

I burn my hands.
The wet, constantly washed, scarred hands.
With the freezing wind of a city I loathe; as I walk with she who once cared.

It's better here, it doesn't hurt my dry, burnt hands.
It's warmer, it's open, almost holy.
It's mine, more than yours, if yours at all.

Mine entirely.

The skin itches and I remember the day.
Will I truly learn from my mistakes?
The only true time is the now but that doesn't keep me awake at night.
So learn must I.

Now.

6.1.14

TEMO

She looked through the window as the rain drops rolled slowly down the outside of the thick glass.
"What will be of us?"
"Of us what?"
"Yes, what will happen to us when all of this is over?"
"Jen, I can't tell the future"
"Ah, I wish you could"- she said, almost whispering.

/and then i ran out of words

2.1.14

Friman

But maybe I should see it as something positive. This was the breaking point.  No more of the same stupid mistakes, Sofia. No more.
You've delt with these emotions and feelings far too many times over these couple of years and it's not healthy. You know you have not once felt ok and guiltfree about it. This is an easy resolution, and the healthiest choice for your mental state. This is what you wanted this whole time. I guess I'm glad I finally figured it out.

Good.

/s

1.1.14

And so the nightmare became real and here I am, dealing with it all once again.
So much for a fresh start.