you've got blood on your hands and i know its mine i just need more time

"She sits on her bed, facing the big window in front of her. It's around 8 o'clock and the window is slightly open. A freezing breeze comes in through the little opening, sending a shiver down her spine as the cold wind touches her skin. She's been listening to that play-list she made shortly after it had ended between her and the boy.".... Now you're just somebody that I used to know...". She actually remembers how he was the first one to show her that same song, months ago, when he used to tell her he had never loved anyone the way he did.

Now it's all over, and she hasn't had a conversation with him for over 3 months. But it finally doesn't hurt every time she thinks about him. It finally feels slightly better.

She knows what the wants. She wants someone to talk to and laugh with. Someone who she will feel comfortable with, someone to rest her head on before falling asleep. Someone who has had similar experiences, but someone who will also inspire her with his own. Someone who will be there for her. Someone who can be there for a little longer. 

Her hands are freezing and her room is getting quite cold. But sitting here, letting the fresh and cold air come in is just too fantastic. The sun has just set but there's still some light that lets her see between the shadows. The clouds in the sky are surprisingly dark and some stars are starting to show.

Could he be the "someone" she wants in her life? He seems to want to talk to her. She has laughed with him. She feels rather comfortable with him and she could imagine herself resting her head on his chest. She doesn't know much about his life but he probably has a lot of stories to share with her. He could probably be there for her. But for how long?

Why can't I ever give time to things?- she asks herself. She hates time, and wishes her life didn't have to relay on it so often. There's always time in the way. Time to get over him. Hours to sleep. Hours to play video games. Time to get to know people. Time before and after a test. Time to study. Minutes to be late. Time to finish things she dislikes. Time to figure things out.

She should probably close the window now and stop being so silly".

I haven't done anything productive today either. Two days left of freedom.
Maybe I'll actually study tomorrow. I won't be very happy with myself if I come back to school dumber than when the holidays started. 

I really need a shower.

Have a lovely saturday night xxxxxx