What a better moment to look back at 2012 when I'll never ever ever have to go back to it.
Here is a recap of my year:
I wasn't sleeping very much and I was starting to see how much I hated my own self... Although that had already started a bit in the end of 2011.
In January, I thought about him every goddamned night and wanted him back every living minute.
January was pretty fucking horrible to be honest. I wasn't happy but I was pretending to be. I went to some parties, hanged out a lot with andris and smoked quite a bit at some points.
I wrote this the first day back at school after the holidays (not proud ofc):
"I really don't know if I can actually stand it for another year and a half.
This place is filled with rich kids who think they know everything about
everything and everyone. They think they've seen everything cause their
mommys and daddys take them on holidays all around the world."
MEHHHH I cant be fucked anymore.. this takes too much time. I'll continue some other day.
But I was looking through my own blog and I had a bad time there too. I cant believe how awful everything was and what a horrible time I was having inside.
Honestly speaking though, after reading through my posts in Jan and Feb 2012, he has changed it all. Nothing is like it was then. It's all so much better and its been amazing for over 6 months.