the library

its strange i think. how im sitting in a library in a small town in sweden. watching people from the second floor, seeing shelfs and shelfs of books and still not being able to understand how i got here.

how the fuck am i sitting in this fancy library with a working laptop that i was given to by my own school? wearing relatively nice clothes, with a brand new jacket and listening to music on a new phone which i have already broken. how did i get so lucky? how in the world was i able to end up here, being born in a shitty country where things such as drug-wars and drug-lords exist? where hundreds of tons of marijuana and cocaine are found every week? here i sit, in this library, seeing the beautiful yet so annoying snow cover everything that can't move. trees, benches, paths, grass, roofs, houses. everything. where dealers sell crappy weed and the kids in school feel tough because they drug themselves and escape and modify their perfect realities. where we get so drunk that we can't remember how we got home after we wake up, safe in our beds, with a killer headache, pretending the morning after that we aren't hangover as fuck in front of our parents.

how the fuck? i guess the first answer is my parents. so much effort, so much stress and tears and happiness and finally divorce. if it weren't for them, i would be sitting in a shitty cold classroom, with a teacher who isn't respected by the students, with desks that are almost too broken to be used, with no free lunch, instead a crappy canteen that sells chips and coke, probably under extremely unhygienic circumstances. trying to study to find a job that i won't get or won't pay much at all. being assaulted by dirty men at any time of the day, going home on a crowded bus with plastic seats and no seat-belts. going home to watch tv and eat unhealthy foods, drinking bottled water and going to bed fearing that someone could break in.


but no

my reality is perfect. the possibilities of this happening were so minimal but yet it did happen.

i got so lucky.

/sofia