I don't know how well the pictures show how I'm feeling. To say the least, emptiness fills my chest and actually physically hurts me. No matter how hard I try, it stays there.
On the very first day of the year, I spent about 2 hours talking to my mother about how I'm feeling right now. You would have thought it helped, but saying things out-loud made it all much clearer in my head. And all those thoughts keep me awake at night, steal my appetite and make me feel so helpless.
If this is how my year will be, I guess all I can do is wait. Wait and see. Wait and forget.
2012 is a leap year. From today, 2nd of January, I have 364 days to go.
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