And everyday I waited for you

What do you do when you realize you deeply dislike the way you are? 

It's such a horrible feeling. I sit here and realize how obnoxious I am, and how that's not the real me. I'm quite quiet and relaxed, not annoying, loud and an attention seeker, which is actually how many people tend to see me. 

I really need to stop. I really hate being like this. Damn it, every time I try calming down and stop being so awful and detestable, I go right back to it in no time. 
Fuck I really hate myself. And I miss the boy. So much. 

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I really hope your day was better than mine

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