So when people ask: "Oh hi! How was your birthday?!" I should really be like, it was actually pretty weird and overwhelming and sad. I ended up sitting in a warm uteservering, crying with mascara all over my face and drinking a white russian with my parents while eating cheesecake. I was disappointed  by a friend and just couldn't really keep a happy face because no one asked if I really did want to turn 18. I missed my brother and I wished that I got to see mom, dad and my two brothers all together more often. And so there I was, with that same old "you-ve-cried-too-much-and-you-re-too-sad-headache".

And I mean now it's over and there's no going back.
I think I have officially accepted that I don't very much like getting older and having a birth day. So maybe now that I have accepted it, it won't be so bad in the next 60 to 80 birthdays that I (might) have left.