scotland

woowowowowo

what to even say.

it feels funny and strange writing these words.


i suppose the biggest change since i last wrote is that i now live in edinburgh and im finally studying and i love it with all my heart, and it makes me so happy.

i love my room and the messy kitchen i share with 11 other people.

i love walking to the studios early every morning and staying there past dinner time, hurrying home because im starving.

i love not having to go far to get anywhere, because i have everything i love and need so close by.

i love listening to music while i draw for hours, all uni work.

i am also really starting to fall for him and its scary.



ive been here in malmö since the 14th and im finally going home, home to edindburgh, on the morning of the 31st.


applying to uni and accepting my offer has probably been the best decision ive made in my life so far.



i am so so so happy.

there is nothing to do on the internet

and im tired but i cant quite go to bed because i have nothing to read (except for the dozens of books in my room)

Hahahaha by Sofia on some bus to Malmö having an existential crisis

things that happened today

-i dropped my iphone in the toilet bowl

-i went to the gym with my brother and "bench pressed" for the first time in my life

-i dropped my iphone in the toilet

-i paid money to the state because i did not pay enough taxes last year

-i biked

-i DIDN'T have honey in my oatmeal this morning

-i started cleaning my room

-did i tell you i dropped my iphone in the bathroom? that one thing that only happens to stupid people? yes that ACTUALLY happened and im still not sure how i feel about it

May

This weekend has felt so strange.

I have this weird anxious feeling in my chest, yet I've had moments of real happiness and it's all so contradicting and confusing.

I guess it always the same, getting obsessed with certain moments and then running them over in my head and wishing they had never ended. I need to learn how to move on and live new days, however corny that may sound.

I don't know really. Then there's you and I hate it that well you can't quite understand this it seems. Why can't you ever be satisfied? 

French men reading books in Paris that I took pictures of

Like is there anything more attractive than this

Wednesday or something

WHERE R MY BIKE KEYS

WHY AM I SUCH A MESS

HOW DO I STOP BEING SUCH  MESS

WHERE R MY BIKE KEYS CMON SOFIA

WHY IS FLYING TO LISSBON SO EXPENSIVE

WHEN CAN I GET DRUNK

CAN I HANG OUT WITH U

WHERE THE FUCK DID I LEAVE MY BIKE KEYS

CAN U PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT UR JOB

WHY CANT I SPEAK FRENCH

HOW DO I FIND THE ENERGY TO FIND MY BIKE KEYS



Idk really

haha

My Room is clean. But it never really is.

I've also just shoved all stuff I didn't have the time to sort into the white thing that's supposed to function as a garderobe. 

I don't know why, but I constantly feel that I was more beautiful when I was younger. It's a strange feeling. Also a strange thought.

I could make myself look nicer, with makeup and what not. Maybe nicer clothes and better-cared-for-hair. 

Will it still be me? 

FUCKING WEDNESDAYS

I need to do the dishes
So after I post this I will get my butt in the kitchen
And donno play some humbug and get the kitchen nice and clean

Also I need to go running but my stomach hurts
but how will I then train to be able to run 42 kilometers in just about a month huh
How guys



/s

cool stuff i guess

there is just this feeling about sundays

I took a picture in the elevator mirror at 4.23 last night. I suppose I was in bed a little before 5. 

At nine I woke up and thought oh no hangover but not really. I only had a few beers. So finally a night where I more or less drink responsibly (of the few nights I do happen to go out). Other things made me feel as if the night had never happen.

I must have not made any sense when we finally got in to babel; a guy who worked there came up to me and said things about water and sitting down and I just held on to Sidney and said "it's cool I'll be with my friend" and I think the guy said "well we'll keep and eye on you" and so it felt as if I was watched all night. I was just so thirsty the whole time. I remember thinking "just a few more songs and I can get some water" or "you cant possibly die from dehydration tonight sofia". Also I focused more on how hot and thirsty I was rather than the music and the act. Must learn to not be so gone so that getting a jacket in the garderob or whatever isn't a difficult task and so I can dance and enjoy music without being that one person with a jacket in the middle of the dance floor. I mean I guess it was cool but I wish I could do it all over again. But that's not how it works and the present moment is the only one available and well I suppose I need to think about the things I do and their impact on my well being and happiness and whatnot. 

Glad we went last night. But hard to let go of stupid past and remain in present. 

Its stupid to regret not having taken a selfie with this one guy. 

SELFIES

some tickets

second or third or whatever day of the year


watched some cheesy movie with mom and the deep deep feeling of längtan took over my chest

i miss having an email in my inbox with a pdf file of a flight to somewhere unknown
maybe even somewhere ive been but
somehow still full of new experiences
or perhaps old ones, ready to be re-explored





must travel
must go see new places