routine

I drank about half a liter or even more of banana milkshake about an hour ago and I'm finally recovering from the super filled stomach that forced me to lay on the couch and not move till I could actually breath again....... I had actually also made myself some sort of kebab wrap but that didn't go so well. Do not trust frozen kebab boxes from lidl, worst experience of my life.


I dont know, I've been quite happy lately, or well, simply not sad or melancholic like I usually am at least once or twice a week.
I have been very tired and it sucks to say I am still recovering from the flu I had almost two weeks ago.
I need to start going to the gym again and get my routines together. I'm thinking of taking a class tomorrow evening and from there try to slowly get myself back on track. I mean, I'm going to spain in about 60 days..... Cant quite walk around at the beach in thunder tighs and a huge belly now can we!! Oh I wish I wasn't so pressured by todays ideals....................... #fish

I need routine
routine
routine
routine
routine

and I should actually follow the routines I set up
follow
follow
follow
follow
follow

/puss

The most recurring question in my head is "why did I get so lucky?"

moving pictures like in harry potter, yes they were just gifs

I'm chewing gum and listening to my amazing piano playlist
that never gets old because clasical music simply sounds different everytime
and its just so great to be able to listen to songs over and over again
because they're amazing

I borrowed mom's lamp and it was just infront of my webcam and
I guess you wonder why I take pictures like this
Well because when I grow old and wrinkly
I want to be able to see how unproductive and young I was
and how for some reason I wrote down my days
and took pictures of what I was going instead of homework.


Thats why, so don't go around thinking what is wrong with sofia, seriously who does that?- it's more like, why aren't you doing it too? #yolo


/s

work

Today I finished a book before having breakfast.
Today I ate popcorn for lunch.
Today I have to do work work work work.
And tomorrow I have to do work work work.
And guess what? The day after too, work work work.


This is really last minute. What the actual fuck sofia, what the fuck.

things today with you

Better
Better better
Better better better
Better

Better :)

converse with me

Finally bought a pair of converse after having turned to boots all year long due to the swedish weather. I donno, I was gonna buy a pair of dark grey ones but these light grey ones were perfectly lovely.

I think I need new covers, mine keep getting stained by my sudden nosebleeds.

I like, I wish, I dislike.

I like drinking water with a lemon juice in it. 

I like writing the last number on the endless sudokus that I do before I go to bed.

I like talking to him because I shouldn't be talking to him.

I like low-cut white socks that show my ancles, but my boots have made them all blue.

I like smiling sympathetically at strangers at hospitals, saying with my eyes: "Oh, I'm sorry you're in pain too".

I like not being hungry in the mornings, it makes me less grumpy.

I like looking nice with no make up on.

I like my eye-lashes.

I wish we had a bathtub at home.

I wish the books we read at school were actually fun to read.

I wish I didn't have to do all this work I am completely uninterested in doing. 

I wish you'd realize this is stupid.

I wish my room was cleaner.

I wish I could wear shorts outside and tank tops.

I wish I could go flee-marketing again.

I wish I knew exactly how I feel about all this, so that I didn't have to lie in bed and wonder where it's all going.

I dislike that awkward Swedish thing that you do.

I dislike having to clean my room.

I dislike not finding the right socks in the morning.

I dislike your unclear mind.

I dislike your blurry personality.

I dislike that you don't actually tell me things.

I dislike that you sleep too much.

I dislike that you don't seem to care sometimes.

I dislike that you're so unnecessarily shy.

I dislike how you think people care so much about what you do and don't do when they're complete strangers.

I dislike this stupid flu/whatever else it could be/ was.

I dislike school to quite a large extent.

I dislike the way my room smells.

I dislike the freezing wind that has taken over sweden.

I dislike your laziness.

I dislike your lack of punctuality. 

I dislike your coat.

/s

tumblr 25000

I never go on tumblr but today I liked these and now I'm going to bed. 

/s

not afraid

There are things that I don't like. And I think I'm usually quite clear with people about these things. If you know me, you probably have experienced my typical angry serious voice telling you to stop what you're doing because I dislike it.

And it's not like the things I dislike are things that everyone likes, no. It's things like someone's little annoying games and tiring rude jokes, or something someone is doing that is bothering me or distracting me from something important or that I feel that someone is being rude towards me.

I don't see how that gives someone the right to be mad or surprised at my strong "serious" attitude. If I have told you plenty of times to stop doing something that bothers me, and it is obvious that I'm not having a good time, why in the world are you acting like it's my fault when I angrily tell you off? 

Mom says I'm too good for you and that you're a little shit who doesn't know how to treat me. Mom's usually right. 

/s

Nosebleeds

She lies half naked in her big white bed. The air in the room doesn't feel so clean, it even feels a little moist. It must be because the radiator is on the warmest level- she thinks and turns it down.

The city isnt as loud as it usually is, it must be the hour of the night. She hears a couple of cars go by every other minute, instead of the constant noise that there is at any other point of the day. The strong wind is the one being noisy tonight.

She feels lonely. Something she hadn't felt in a while. When was the last time I felt like this?- she thinks.

The bleeding starts again, but luckily she manages to stop that one single drop of blood from falling onto her bed from her face as she sits up after feeling blood running down her throat.

Does that make sense? 

She still feels lonely, even after running to the bathroom shirtless, covered in blood, cleaning up her face after her nosebleed and then finally getting back into bed. And for some reason,  tonight, out of all nights, no one was talking. Or some did but then left her in her growing loneliness. I hope this feeling goes away when I wake up- she thinks.

/good-bye

My favorite person

"As I suck on the tiny last bit of my Bafucin and read your good-bye on Facebook  I realize how much my thoughts about you have changed. And how right she was, how right she is about what this has become.

I wish I had all the things I have written about you in a special folder, so I could look through it right this second and see how my words and feelings have developed over these short 8 months and 11 days, and even before that, when you were still not mine. So many sentences and emotions that you have made me write and feel, that you have made me experience and slowly change from pure lust, to wonder, to confusion, to joy, to sadness and finally love. 

Maybe I've written about this before, I am almost sure I have, but there is no harm in doing it again. This really isn't about the smell of your perfume anymore, or the perfect choice of shirts that you have, or how i absolutely love hearing you speak Swedish.  It's about more than that. It's about hearing your opinions on things you want to change, it's about the natural smell of your skin over the expensive perfume, it's about the way that I now somehow manage to sleep perfectly well next to you, maybe even better than when I'm alone- It's about loving every single bit that there is of you and finally realizing that I'm head over heels for you."

/a while ago

making faces

Totally not impressed by this halsfluss that has bothered me for 3 days now. Whatever you are, virus or bacteria, please leave the premises of my lovely tonsils that were perfectly fine before you came along. Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than suffer talking, swallowing my own saliva and drinking water. Those better things to include a humongous pile of assignments that seem to never end.


/sofia

Today I am sick.

Sick for the first time since around the middle of the summer.

Waking up was horrible, because I felt as if I hadn't even managed to get one hour of sleep.

The ache all over my upper body, my shoulders, my neck, my chest and the feeling of a horribly bruised back, it all came so quickly. 

That wasn't even the worst part.

The fever that wouldn't go down, reaching 38.7 or maybe even higher, I don't even remember because I was in so much pain. Being too cold and too warm at the same time, while my head felt as if it were to explode into 3 thousand different bits.

Then there was the throat. Simply swallowing my own saliva was like swallowing a hundred thousand rusty pins.

Time went by so slowly too.

I finally managed to get out of bed, half crying in pain, at around 9.30, woke up my brother and asked him to use his phone. He was still asleep so I took it and called mom, who wasn't home. 

I half-cried-half-told her that I needed her to come home and take care of me and bring me whatever could make me feel better- she told me to get in the shower to bring down my fever and told me she would be here as soon as possible.

Right now I'm feeling better, after at least 10 different pills through out the day. Except my throat, the tiny pins are still stuck to back of my mouth. Ahhhhhh the pain.

I'm gonna try to eat something and do more sudoku and miss alex helping me do them.